A Pho Dinner Kinda Love.

Elizabeth texted this to me today:

"I saw these two TOTES casual gay guys eating pho. One was skinny and dressed like you in 2010. You NEED to get a bf. I just got inspired for you."

3 digressions:
1) Please note that "totes" was initially used as mockery, but we have unfortunately integrated it into daily repartee.
2) They were eating pho? Well, okay. Too bad pho is stankkkity stank, huh?
3) One was dressed like me in 2010? How does Elizabeth even know what Henry circa 2010 looks like? Even I don't know.

Now srsly y'all.

As of recent, Elizabeth and I have been focusing on the topic of my love life quite a bit. All of our conversations from religious contemplations to local gossip to nightly recaps of bar crawls somehow trickle back into the debate of me and my refusal to date bois. Not that any of you asked, but lemme break it down.

First and foremost, I don't fancy, as my friends say, "dicking around;" so that immediately debunks the prospect of dating for kicks. I mean, why do we date for kicks anyway? Answer: because we're bored enough to be DGAF about somebody and ultimately want somebody to bang at night. No judgment, but that's just how I roll. The whole "you need experience" claim? Meh. I don't see the need. And, to be honest, until somebody begins to make annoying cameos in my dreams, the idea of dating them doesn't even occur to me. I'm sure this can be said for a lot of us.

If, then, I am not interested in leisurely canoodling, I must be hoping for a deeper emotional connection with somebody. Right? A bond of friendship and love? The kind of love where even a simple dinner over disgusting pho is time and money well spent? Well... see... I don't much want that either. I'd go so far as to say the idea repulses me. Somebody knowing me that well... is... unbelievably... clingy/uncomfortable/scary/unnecessary. It's hard to explain, but it is not a simple feeling of fear or nerves. It's another aspect of my personality in which I don't want to be emotionally associated with anybody but myself. Does anybody know what I mean? #writerfail

Now, if a man who is celibate, potentially asexual and as into me as I am into him (yet emotionally detached [yet pho-dinner-friendly]) comes along, I might change my mind.

But that is a ridiculous statement.

And that is why, Elizabeth Lee, I don't see myself casually eating pho with a "bf" any time soon.

, Henry